Believing in My Own Eternity
“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.” – the White Queen, Alice in Wonderland.
What are the six impossible things you believe in?
Although the popular mantra of today is “Live as though there’s no tomorrow,” I much prefer my seemingly pro-lazy mantra of “I have all the time in the world.” I wouldn’t advocate for this pretentious-sounding, less catchy phrase to replace the first one. But I might recommend it to some who suffer from debilitating, disturbing amounts of anxiety and worry.
I am one such person. I neglect to clean my house as regularly as other people probably do, because when I do, I become overwhelmed by all the stuff I own. You might suggest I get rid of some junk, which is a good idea. But this is just one example of my hyperactive nervous mind.
While cleaning the house, I’ll become paralyzed by the amount of stuff I haven’t taken full advantage of:
Incomplete jigsaw puzzles, a closeted home-brewing kit, a hammock, classic novels, a yo-yo, a tape recorder, even a deck of cards.
This turns me into the ultimate procrastinator, someone who ends up spending much more time organizing lengthy lists of things to do into detailed schedules of the month. And it looks ridiculous. 15 days from now will say, “Tie up hammock in park & enjoy Moby Dick.” By the time that day comes around, it might be too windy or I’ll be bogged down with work or more than likely, I’lll decide to re-evaluate all priorities and draw up a new schedule of the month.
Because what is the best way to spend one’s life? Doing something cool-sounding like swinging in the trees while reading a dense, impressive behemoth of a book? Or working towards a better career? Or not forgetting about friends and family? Or finally sucking it up and cleaning my entire house?
And nothing ever seems to get done.
The thought of imminent death only makes this indecisiveness worse.
So I have decided to believe (because who really knows?) that when I die, my soul will float about and then somehow reappear in some other human form who grows up with different interests, potentials, talents, etc. Somehow, though, I’ll retain aspects of this self, and continue forth until the end of the world.
There are serious, obvious logical, philosophical, whatever flaws with this. It is the one impossible thing I believe to get through the day with ease and contentment.
So for now, I enjoy waking up each morning with the thought that I have all the time in the world.
This works miracles on my frazzled nerves. I can actually accomplish more when I take such a laissez faire attitude towards my destiny. Because it relaxes me, calms me down. I slow down to appreciate all kinds of things that probably won’t pop up in any other life I have ever again.